I write this letter to reflect on certain things. What I communicate hereafter was actually written on March 12, 2016. I’d called it dichotomy of love then.
“Is it that I always fall for the wrong man? There isn’t any right or wrong, I tell myself. Then why do I feel the pain of unfulfilled love every time. Why do I feel that I receive little or no love from the man I choose. Even when I give all of me. Maybe my choice is wrong and efforts futile. Or maybe not. And I would like to believe the latter. The zeal of life in me is strong enough to keep the candle of hope burning.
Life as it is is full of no less suffering. And I probably do my best to invite more troubles. Love is one amongst them. So I plunge into the abyss over and over. I fall in love with the same man a thousand times. ” Not like they told you love is, and I didn’t know this either, but love don’t make things nice-it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We aren’t here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bullshit.” (Ronny after being Moonstruck)
However, I would believe that desiring perfection isn’t a sin. The Realist gives way to the dreamy Idealist in me. And the stupid heart falls prey to the slightest sign of love. It hopes for the perfectly imperfect one to arrive and stay. It hopes for happiness before sadness comes knocking on the door. It hopes for flowers, long walks, surprises and togetherness before getting doomed by loneliness. It hopes for laughter and infinite joys before getting drowned in a flood of tears. It hopes for glory before ruin. It hopes for hope before despair…. To keep the flame alive!”
In my next letter I will tell you another string of words that was received by me from S in response to the above.
Write to me your thoughts about it in the comments.
Note: The picture above is a drawing titled dichotomy of love by Matt proshka and has been taken from saatchiart.com only for illustrative purposes.